No Heading.
After having lunch with Suzan, I was having such a high that I couldn’t possibly reach. I was high on my own elation and delirium. Fuck you, what were you thinking? But really I want to get high on orgasm. I fucking miss that.
Crap, oh right, my point...
I was high and elated because today is Friday and in a bloody good mood which I am afraid of myself to feel that. Rare. Yesterday I was still pms-ing and god knows why I was bloody happy cuz of Friday itself. It’s just another ordinary day, no? So yeah, I switched off the fan, took the broom and swept the floor, later I mopped the floor for fucking three times. It was squeaky clean, I loved it. The feel of it. *Highhhhhhh!*
The hot afternoon felt very chilly and satisfying on the contrary with the help of the air con. I felt sleepy but I didn’t take a nap, it’s too good to forego the elation. I wanted to tell him that it’s a Friday and the weekend is just around the corner and that I missed him a fucking whole lot. I was distracted by the realization of the non-existent
him in my life. Painfully diverted I tell you.
What the hell was I thinking?
For an instant answer, I think I would say who the fuck am I suppose to share this elation with?
My bad, I’ve got no one to turn to and share my happiness with.
Am I that tragic?
Sheesh. Epiphany not. Whatever that means.
I need an orgasm, that’s what I need. I guess.
My hormones are running wild. As much as I hate to admit it, someone please nurture me. Or do I have to feed myself with more nicotine and more cryptic songs? Sometimes I feel sick of the latter. I want a change. Someone told me that I need a change.
Do I have a chance at “change”?
May that change be a sex encounter or a date or a relationship or whatever that is equivalent to that. Why materialism have to come in the way? Why do they judge me? Why do they fucking cheat?
Having to say that, do I
really have a chance at “change”?
To an end, now I feel oddly downright desolate.
[music]
Pete Yorn - Strange Condition
